A Big Swirly Destructive Thingy

As if the title and my status didn't hint enough, I feel like there's a maelstrom raging on inside of me. I think only two of you would know why. And I suddenly fear the future.

The more I think about it, the more tempted I am. The more tempted I am, the more my inner pessimist reminds me of all the ways everything could go wrong. And that alone, makes me think even more. It is a vicious cycle. One I fear I cannot escape.

I feel lost. And most of all....

I feel sick...